Silent Africa

The fight is loud

and the silence is deafening

Is silence a hypnosis technique or simply hypnotic?

I met Patrick whilst playing soccer. A rugby player that would plow through you at every chance.

Patrick yelled at me across the soccer field one day “You’re a hypnotist Trish! Why don’t you hypnotise yourself to be a better player?” I was mortified as all the other players on the field laughed.
My self esteem shot to shit - I kept going.

One day I spoke to Reiko and asked “I haven’t seen Patrick in months. Where is he?” Reiko hung his head “Haven’t you heard? He’s in the psyche ward. He hasn’t spoken or eaten in months since his son died”
Reiko went on to tell me how Patricks oldest son had committed suicide. In this devastating period the family chose to cremate the son and spread his ashes across the river back in their home town in Africa.

Patrick, his wife and 16 yr old son travelled back to their home town with the ashes. As they stood on the banks of the river they released the ashes and said their goodbyes. Then the river bank collapsed. Patricks son fell down the edge and broke his neck. Paralysing him from the neck down.
They spent all their family savings getting their son back to Australia. Patrick fell into despair so much that his business closed down and his wife has threatened divorce. After 2 months Patrick got a job at the timber mill where one day (for no reason) he collapsed and fell into a coma. He woke in hospital 2 weeks later and never spoke a word and refused to eat.

I raced up to the hospital and asked his wife if I could see him. She said “He wont talk to anyone. If you can do anything then please do”.
I walked into the room where this shadow of a man was propped up and starring at a blank wall. I pulled up a chair beside the bed. Stared at the wall and said nothing. 45minutes later the nurse informed me it was time to leave so I did. I returned the next day and repeated the same action. On day 4 Patrick said “Trish, what do you want?” … I looked at him slowly and said “For people to stop pushing me to do things I don’t wanna do” … he grinned and we both returned to starring at the wall in silence. The nurse came in and told me it was time to leave. As I was exiting the door Patrick said “Are you coming back tomorrow?” … I smiled at him and said “Only because I want to”.

The nurse was shocked. Over the next week we talked about soccer and at time stared at the wall.

One afternoon Patrick told me all about another player we played soccer with named Gus (I loved Gus he is an amazing person).

Patrick is white and Gus is black (their is no other way to write it). Patrick and Gus knew each other in Africa and were in feud with each other with their communities. Between the two communities was a bakery and it was classified as a “mutual” ground where the communities could meet and discuss agreements. They said the bakery had the best vanilla slice in the world. Fast forward 20 years and both men came to Australia (at different times and for different reasons). Both men ended up in Mount Gambier and on the same soccer team.

You would never know these two were once sworn enemies.

Patrick still has a long way to go. But never forget the power of silence. Many therapists feel that more talking = more answers.

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